Posted: March 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

Recently the Canberra press gallery has attracted some criticism for reporting stories which consist of nothing but quotes from unnamed sources. But surely the events of yesterday vindicate them completely.

Without these sources, nobody would have been aware of the likelihood of the Leadership spill. Then the public would have been shocked to discover that Gillard declared all positions open. In fact, the public may not have even known that an election for the Labor leadership had been held. Or rather, not held, because of the fact that nobody else stood.

Now that the principle of quoting from unnamed sources has been established as a legitimate way of reporting what’s happening, I feel quite comfortable in reporting the following:

A media executive told me that there would be a merger between Fairfax and News Limited called “FairFox”, which will run a campaign supporting Tony’s right to “No”.
A senior public servant confirmed that they were ordered to make summer hotter this year to justify the Carbon Tax.
A Liberal source confirmed that at least two of their current front bench have died, but the media haven’t noticed yet, so they figured it was best not to point it out.
An unnamed environment group told me that they have evidence that there is a Liberal plan to turn brown coal into food.
A scientist told me that there are things on Televison that are controlling our brains and compelling us to change our behaviour. He referred to them as “ads”.
A reporter told me that they have been forbidden from asking Abbott specific questions on “Downton Abbey” because it might demonstrate that his claim that he enjoys watching it is a lie.
A Rudd supporter assured me that there would be a challenge today once all the Gillard supporters have gone home.

I can’t verify all of these. Neither can I tell you who said them. But I figured it was my obligation to let you know, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t!

 

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