Kool Mints, Kennett and Kevin

Jeff Kennett; Tony Abbott. I don’t know if anyone else is thinking the same thing here, and I realise that people who don’t come from Victoria are probably thinking Jeff Who by now. But it was when I read somewhere today about Abbott being the “most successful Opposition Leader in the last forty years” I was reminded about how people used to tell me what a smart political operator  Kennett was. “He’s only won two elections,” I’d argue, “and lost two. And one of the wins was when everyone conceded that he’d win because Labor had no hope.” Ah, but he’ll win the next one, because he’s so canny I was told. Somehow, this “genius” lost the next election and ended with more election losses as Leader than wins. Jeff was abrasive and had a take no prisoners approach to political debate – much like Abbott. And some of the things he said were just plain wrong!

As Abbott moves toward his showdown with Rudd, I can’t help but wonder at how people will end up voting. It’s close at the moment, but – I say this more as an observer than someone cheering Rudd on – that I suspect that when it comes to mind games, Rudd is tap-dancing on Tony’s hippocampus. Will Rudd lose more votes with his presidential style than Abbott loses with his capacity to say something that worries almost everyone?

Tony’s been on election footing for years. And we’ve had suggestions that Labor will go earlier than Gillard’s Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement – not a good day for an election!) date. But still no election. Of course, now nearly everyone concedes that Rudd will go to G20, which suggests that it won’t happen till October. Or does it? Is there still time for Turnbull to make a move? Could Rudd fool everyone and go in September still? What do you think, Mr Abbott? Oh, that he should call the election now? And you’ll see us in The Lodge for Christmas drinks? BTW, why are we building so much infrastructure in Nauru when the boats are going to be towed back? Oh, not all of them, but that doesn’t matter – you’re going to stop them. Oh, not straight away.

And the Government will take 80 years to roll out the NBN in Tasmania? Really. You expect this government to be there in 80 years? What, you expect to be the government? Then surely it won’t take 80 years! Surely, Turnbull – the man who “practically invented the Internet in Australia” should be able to move a bit faster than that.

Jeff Kennett recently said: “If you have had a couple of drinks and you want to absorb the alcohol quickly, Kool Mints will do it.” Who wants to bet that Abbott says something even more foolish in the next few weeks?